Loving Without My Mask
by Magawa
Summary: COMPLETE -- Everyone goes to the movies to see Spiderman 2 -- parallels are drawn between the life of the senshi and of Spiderman. Little bit o' waff.


Author's Notes: I'm all about the one-shots. Little quickie stories that are satisfying to both write and read because they fix that need for instant gratification and no one gets held in suspense by whether or not I update. Also, this way no one gets screwed if I don't actually finish a story. It could be the best thing I've ever written but if I don't finish it, you'll never get to see it at all. If I do chapter stories at all, I have to know exactly where I'm going with it. I have to know the beginning, middle and end before I can fill in the rest. If I don't have a set plot, my story ends up going cattywhompus (Please say this word aloud before you pass judgment). Anyhow, this is the first fanfic I'd ever thought to really sit down and let go. I tried a Sailor Moon because it was one of my first loves and I'm fairly familiar with it. I like a bunch of other stuff too, but I don't know if I'm comfortable writing about those yet. I feel like you have to have almost slept in the characters' shoes before you can write about them. I'd love to hear your comments about the good things, the bad things and improvements I can make. I don't mind constructive criticism but please don't just tell me that "it sucked." 1.) This just tells me you're a small-minded person with an even smaller vocabulary and 2.) It doesn't help me fix the "sucky" bits. So please, even if it does suck, at least tell me why. And no candy coating either! Doesn't melt in your hand my Jack Russell terrier! Candy coatings don't fly because they just barely contain whatever it is you're really thinking and puts a pretty gloss on something that means nothing. I challenge you to challenge me and in the challenging we will both be challenged to challenge fanficdom the world over. And if it was too challenging to read the above statement, don't worry – I believe that I am mentally challenged anyway.

If they were mine, I'd still be writing manga. So, if you use your incredible deducing powers you'd know they aren't mine, as there have been no more SM manga for quite awhile. See the end for more disclaimers.

Hugs to those of you who want them.

Loving Without My Mask

by Magawa

I looked up just in time to see the automatic doors swish open to allow entrance to my biggest "non Sailor Moon" nemesis. Crap. I knew this day couldn't get any worse.

My day was already mind-numbingly awful. I stayed up late studying for a huge test so I naturally woke up late, which means I got to school late, which means I missed that first period test that I actually studied for and then, because I was late, I got detention (thanks a lot Mrs. H) and because of detention I was late to our senshi meeting at the Temple which means I got yelled at by Rei and looked at with disappointment by the others. Then, on my way home, when I'm trying to relax I get this? Oh buddy you don't wanna mess with me right now….

So when the cheerful tones of "Hey there Odango Atama" hit my ears I was all ready to have that all out fight that could change my day if I ever finally won. Come to think of it, I never really won. Maybe that's why his face was so joyfully lit up. "Evil glee" is about the best way to describe what I was seeing on his face. What did he have planned for me this time? Serenity help him if he plans to tease me about today. The way I'm feeling I might just break down and cry – and you don't do that in front of enemies.

"Don't call me that!" I snapped reflexively, already feeling the familiar angry flush to my cheeks. "What do you want anyway?"

"Nothing really. Well, no, I take that back. Motoki and I both won four tickets to go see any movie that's playing at the movie theater this weekend. Since Motoki got tickets too we decided we could take you five girls and Lizzie."

I think my mouth must have dropped open, but I'm really not sure.

"So why are you asking me? Wouldn't it have been better to ask Rei" I asked arching one delicate eyebrow in what I hoped was a scornful manner. I must have succeeded - at least partially - because he looked away and tilted his head ever so slightly downwards.

"Because" he said softly lowering his voice to something between patient and pained"if I get you to go then your friends will go, and Motoki is interested in Minako, but he doesn't want to publish the fact, and this way" he paused to look directly at me"we'll just look like a big group of friends."

"Motoki... Motoki likes Minako" I just about stuttered. Frankly, it's a blessing I didn't have anything crammed into my mouth as it is a guaranteed fact that it would have come flying out all over my after-school nemesis seated before me. On second thought, it's rather a pity... wait...focus a second... What's that idiot saying?

"Yeah he does" he seemed to be saying, almost gently, as if anything louder than his timid vocal rumblings would set me off. "Are you okay" he added, glancing worriedly at me from the corner of his eye. "I know you liked Motoki and all, but he's... "

"No, no, no," I choked out laughingly, desperately hoping no one in the arcade was paying attention to our semi-serious conversation. "I haven't like Motoki since... " _I met you... _I finished silently. Well that's an instantly sobering statement. Serenity! I'd thought I'd stuck thoughts like those way in the back of my mind. When had that rather all-encompassing thought snuck into the foreground? Man! Luna and the girls would kill me if they knew! They'd take that about as well as finding out that I'm a lot smarter than I let on... Well maybe not. More than likely they'd just laugh on both counts... Oh well... at least I know they're completely fooled. I think the only one who really suspects me is Rei. I think really that's the only reason she yells at me the way she does. It's like she knows I can do better than the slip-shod work I show them. Psychics! Psychos more like it...

"Hello? Anyone home" Ah yes... Mamoru. Thanks for waking me out of my oh-so-characteristic reverie with your oh-so-characteristic bonking me on the head. Thanks. Really. I appreciate you overwhelming concern. Please note my sarcasm you gorgeous jerk! Oh man, not those kind of thoughts again!

"Mmm? I'm sorry did you say something to me"

"Yeah, I started to ask you when you stopped liking Motoki but you kinda just ….went somewhere far away... You know you're not acting like yourself tonight Usagi."

"Neither are you. We haven't really argued and you just said my real name. This must be some kind of new record for you."

"Would you rather I fight you" he taunted, smiling daringly. "You know my day's not complete if I don't get you flushed and flustered."

My heart started to hammer and I could feel an excited flush taint my ears at his barely concealed double entendre. More than likely he didn't even know he did that, or what it meant. The ever-ready embarrassment concealer came flying out almost instinctively"Oh whatever you big loser"

Sadly, before we could proceed with the standard name-calling milk-shake-flying, Motoki came over to check the progress of our, ahem, more serious grown-up conversation about two friends and a group movie-outing. Just seeing his rather desperate face was enough to convince me to agree. Which really makes me wonder why Motoki didn't ask me himself, or why didn't they both ask in front of all of us? Seriously, if I knew how guys thought I'd be a walking marketing genius with billions of dollars at my disposal and any guy I wanted and ... damnit they caught me day-dreaming again!

"Of course we'll go Motoki! We'd planned to go to the mall this weekend but we can do that _any _weekend. It's not every weekend that we get to hang out with you."

"Great" he said, one of his brilliant smiles lighting up the arcade. "I'll just tell Lizzie. She'll definitely come now that you and your friends are."

"That's nice to know." I laughed. "Oh Motoki, by the way, what movie are we going to see"

"Oh I thought we'd see the new Spiderman movie. I heard it was really good."

"Yeah I did too" I interjected. "Eeep look at the time! I've got to get home and finish my home..er I mean... my favorite program's on soon! Bye Mamoru-baka! Bye Motoki-kun! See you soon."

As I dashed out I heard them talking behind me asking the ever-famous rhetorical question"Do you think she's hiding something from us" And then the familiar"Nah, no way" laughter that inevitably follows. I don't necessarily like having to play dumb. Little barbs like that really bring out my insecurities...

* * *

"So that's the story," I finished. I had left out some important bits, like how Mamoru had asked me first and how Motoki _likes_ likes Minako and all that blather, but the general gist of it was there and they all seemed pretty eager to go. After all, what's not to like about Spiderman? Teenage hero tortured by his conscience and the will to do what is right, battling evil enemies in an effort to save the world and still find romance? It's the story of my life - with more special effects and lots more stunt men …I think the other girls feel the same way.

"I still don't understand why they didn't ask us all at once," Rei complained. "Why couldn't they have waited and asked us all at once?"

"Probably because we were all busy and Usagi was the only one around," Makoto rationalized. "It's not like they did it just to spite you or anything."

"Yes, and besides, we all get to go together. It doesn't matter who was asked," Ami reasoned.

"And it's Spiderman at that! I love that guy! As Sailor V, I feel as special bond with the big screen heroes… awwh…it's such a pity I stopped acting before you guys came along…" Mina finished dreamily.

"Snap out of it!" Rei bellowed crossly.

"Geez Rei – what's your problem?" Usagi huffed, defending her idol.

"I can't stand this waiting around. If we're going to go we might as well go now. We can show up early at the Arcade and then all go over together if we get moving NOW!"

It's a good thing Rei said something. Have you ever seen how long it takes for five girls to get ready to go _anywhere_? Even if it's just going to the next store in the mall – you always seem to be waiting on someone who is, in their own mind, waiting for you. It's a harsh cycle – and not easily broken either…

After a good ten minutes we were finally all ready and on the road. Rei had gotten disgusted with our slow efforts and left a minute or so before the rest of us. It seemed to be the final push we needed to make it out the door in time at all… Once we had caught up to her we resumed our merry, if a little off-kilter conversation.

* * *

After all the popcorn-buying, the handing out of tickets, the deciding where to sit… Maybe it'd be best if I stopped there – that in itself is a story.

Everyone had a different idea of where the best place to sit was. Mina was convinced there was no better spot in the theatre than in the very front, whereas Ami, the doctor-to-be, insisted that sitting nearer the back was much better for your eyes and overall health. Finally, after some slight, ahem, conversation, I chose a spot near the very center of the theatre and plopped down. Mamoru quietly moved to take the seat on my right while the others moved to take seats near us too; deciding that it would be better to be with the group than by themselves somewhere else in the theatre. The theatre was by no means empty, but there were enough seats clustered together so that we could all be close. Minako and Motoki took the seats to my left, while Makoto, Rei, Ami and Lizzie sat in the row directly in front of us. Mina looked a little uncomfortable sitting next to Motoki, but this way Motoki would get to sit next to Mina without raising too many suspicions. Rei complained bitterly about not being able to sit next to Mamoru, but Lita hushed her, sending a mischievous wink in my direction.

Who the hell did she think she was winking at? Maybe she was winking at Mamoru. Really that makes a lot more sense. He probably reminds her of her old boyfriend… That's one of the things I love about her though…

Why is it that Mamoru always seems to catch me when I'm in my own little world? He startled me out my musing by whispering something in my ear. I'm not sure if what he said was just incomprehensible, or if it was my fault the words didn't seem to mean anything. His hot breath there on my ear made me shiver right down to my toes. I turned my head to look at him, so that I could understand what he was saying, and nearly bumped my forehead on his. He looked surprised this time, but he had finished whispering so I had to ask him again.

"I said," he emphasized, still in a whisper, "that we did a good job getting Motoki and Minako sitting next to each other."

"Oh!" That was really the only answer I could think of to his statement. Pretty lame, huh? Well that's nothing…

"We make a pretty good team, don't you think?"

"Huh?" See? I told it you got worse.

"You know," he put in conversationally, "when we're not bickering, things get accomplished."

I must have looked fairly skeptical, because he was kind enough to elaborate. "What about that time when I was taking care of that little boy and you came to help me?"

"That was a fluke."

"Okay then, what about the time that we sat together for that artist who wanted to paint us?"

"All right, all right you win!" I cried slightly exasperated, but mostly amused.

"I thought I'd never hear _those_ words," Mamoru chuckled. "I never seem to win against you."

I need to do something about my face and the fact that it gives away every single one of my emotions. It's really not fair that my body betrays me like that. If I could remain cool and emotionless like Mamoru maybe I'd have won an argument with him, then again I probably wouldn't have ever gotten in an argument with him at all.

As it was I was having a hard time speaking after such a nonsensical statement like the one he had just made. "But... but I _never_ win!" Mamoru chuckled lightly before the lights began to dim, effectively ending our discussion. I shifted my gaze forward and away from Mamoru – what was the point in trying to figure that guy out anyway? It's not like it'd get me anywhere with him.

What followed quickly became my new favorite movie.

* * *

I love the way movies in the theatre make me feel. The entire theatre goes dark for just a second and a thrill courses through me, a feeling of exhilaration, of something new. That flash of darkness, of nothingness, right before the movie starts is somehow symbolic of everything that fills me up when I'm watching a brand new movie.

As much as I love going to the movies though, it always leaves me feeling slightly unfulfilled. Strange as it sounds, I become that main character. I feel the all the pain and joy and terror and love that the character feels, so that when the movie ends, I feel empty. As if the life I just lived on the screen and my own continuing life had nothing to do with each other. Like a chance meeting, I had this brief moment of intimacy with the movie before being left alone to my own life, my own thoughts, abandoned. Movies leave me feeling philosophical – as if there were life-altering significance in the very tiniest details of life.

So I was feeling quiet and alone with my thoughts, while everyone else was chattering happily about the movie. I knew the girls would love this movie – I can see it in their faces now.

I probably would have stayed quiet, if not for Mamoru. For some reason he just couldn't get his mind around the overly corny lines, the absurdity of some specific sequences and the impracticality of the villains. I'm kind of embarrassed to say that this made me kind of mad, and that I said some things I probably shouldn't have…

"Hey hold on now – that was a fantastic movie! You need to look beyond the corny lines and unrealistic monsters! I love this movie because it's about true heroism, self-sacrifice, perseverance under adversity and the triumph of love. Good conquers evil."

Looking around at their stunned faces made me realize that I probably should have stopped there. But you know me; I always go too far.

"Peter could have had a normal life. He could have gone to school and loved Mary Jane and his life would have been fine! But he chose to do what was right. He lied to his friends, his family, his one true love. One man pitted himself against evil to save every life in the city. And not everyone liked him – his own aunt hated him at first."

Mamoru was the first to recover from the shock my speech must have inflicted. "Well, then, what about the ridiculousness of the train scene?"

"That's probably my favorite part of the whole movie," I replied as calmly as I could, given the fact that they were all still staring at me in disbelief. "Spiderman was vulnerable after saving all those people, but no one took advantage of the fact that he was unmasked. They admired the fact that he was so young and still doing everything that he could to save people. When they stood up to protect him we as an audience were able to realize that heroism isn't just for people with superpowers – it is a human condition – whether we choose to accept it or not. We're all heroes." At this last statement I gestured around at the group of us earning raised eyebrows from both Ami and Mamoru. I'm sure Mamoru just thought I was crazy, but I detected a warning from Ami.

"Wow Usagi," Motoki spoke up. "I didn't realize you were that passionate about it."

"Oh…well…I…" That would be me stuttering. Yeah, excellent response, isn't it?

"Of course she's passionate! That's Usagi's best feature!" Minako stated. She was still next to Motoki I was happy to note.

"Movies always make Usagi pensive," Rei spoke up.

"And why is that?" Mamoru drawled.

"Because Usagi is so sweet and kind," Makoto put in. Another reason I love Makoto right there. She's my biggest supporter, always defending me when it seems no one else will.

Ami spoke up next. "I think the correct word would be 'empathetic,' being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes, to feel what they feel…"

"So you can do that Usagi?" Motoki asked. "That's pretty neat. I think it'd be kind of hard to do."

All this conversation about me was making me kind of embarrassed. "Well, uh, I don't find it too hard really. For some things it's easier…"

"So this was an easy movie for you then?" Mamoru asked grinning wickedly.

I snorted slightly before shaking my head and mumbling, "All too easy."

"Well I still think that the production company could have done a better job with the villains and stupid lines." Mamoru put in.

"Oh come on! Give a little would you? I don't see how 'Doc Ock' was any less realistic than the youma the sailor scouts and Tuxedo Kamen are always fighting."

"She's got a point," Minako put in grinning.

"Yeah I think she got you on that count buddy," Motoki said matching Mina's grin.

"What about the corny lines then? Nobody says those kinds of things!"

"I would if that's what I was feeling," I stated. I figure as Sailor Moon I spout out dozens of really corny lines that I really and truly mean – I didn't think Mamoru would challenge me on it…

Mamoru looked at me skeptically before looking like the cat that got the canary. "Fine then. If you can say those lines without sounding corny then I'll give up the argument and buy you whatever you want at the Arcade."

You know before how I said that I don't know when to stop? I'm not kidding I meant it. This is one of those instances where I just should have stopped. "And who is the judge of whether it sounds corny or not?"

"We'll let everybody else be the judges."

"And what do I give you if I lose?" I replied teasingly with a little grin.

"A kiss and a promise," he replied. He looked down on me with those cool stormcloud eyes. When had we gotten so close to each other? I had to tilt my head way back to see his eyes and while they were amused and teasing, I could also see he was serious.

"Promise you what?" I sputtered. I could see Mina grinning fiercely at the fact that I hadn't disputed the kiss, but right now the promise was the more intriguing aspect of the bet.

"Oh it's not much; you'll have no problems fulfilling it when you lose."

"Who said I was going to lose? I'm not going to lose this little bet!"

"So you agree then?"

"Done!"

Mamoru grinned evilly before striding over to the judges who had edged away from our mini-battle. What on the moon have I gotten myself into?

"I think we'll let the judges decide what scene we should do. Does that sound fair Odango Atama?"

"Oooh! Don't call me that you jerk!"

"I'll take that as agreement," Mamoru smiled teasingly.

Our "judges" took a minute to confer before deciding on the final scene of the movie after Mary Jane 'ditches' her own wedding.

"I guess I'm Mary Jane then," I said a little shakily.

"Worried you'll forget your lines?" he teased.

"Not a chance jerk!"

I took a deep breath and exhaled, letting my shoulders slump comfortably before approaching Mamoru.

"I had to do what I had to do…" I trailed letting Mamoru look at me in disbelief. I let my eyes crinkle in a tearful happy smile.

"Mary Jane," he replied with some emotion in his voice. Why is it that he got all the easy lines? I may have to confer with the judges on this point.

"Peter, I can't survive without you…" I stood stock still watching as Mamoru slowly paced closer. My breath hitched as I saw his eyes widen, before shutting them completely in rejection.

"You shouldn't be here." From the way he said it, it seemed like Mamoru was trying for emotionless and failing. His tone betrayed his words.

I looked down at my hands before up into his eyes. Somehow he had gotten much closer to me, as if his body unconsciously needed to be near mine. "I know you think we can't be together, but can't you respect me enough to let me make my own decisions?"

I looked pleadingly at him for a second before continuing. "I know there'll be risks but I want to face them with you. It's wrong that we should be only half alive... half of ourselves." I think I was doing a pretty good job so far, but the scene wasn't over and I hadn't won yet. To make them believe my words I would have to actually be sincere – I had them to make them believe that I loved Mamoru; had always loved Mamoru… The scary thing was that I wasn't finding it to be too difficult.

"I love you Peter. So here I am - standing in your doorway…I have _always_ been standing in your doorway. Don't you think it's about time somebody saved your life?" By this time Mamoru was so close to me I could feel his body heat even though we weren't touching. I began to be afraid that he would still reject me the way he was just standing there so still. He was just looking at me so intently. I searched his face with worried eyes quickly before saying, "Well? Say something…"

"Thank you Usagi Tsukino." And then he kissed me. I was still feeling very much like Mary Jane Watson and not very much like Usagi Tsukino so I let him kiss me. We broke apart to the sound of catcalls and cheering from our, ahem, esteemed judges. Mamoru looked back at me sort of sheepishly, almost apologetically before I murmured, "Go get 'em Tiger." He just grinned.

Our judges took a minute to confer with each other before handing us their verdict. I stood nervously next to Mamoru. That was really more of a display than I had wanted to put on…

Motoki took over and began telling us who won. "First off, let me say that that was a nice little bit of acting on both your parts…Usagi you did a really good job making the lines your own. You made it seem like you really meant your declaration to Mamoru."

"But I didn't…"

"Miss Tsukino I'm not finished speaking," Motoki intoned sternly. Minako choked on a giggle from behind him.

"Mamoru, you too seemed as if you really meant your lines – especially there at the end where you changed the, uh, wording a little. Plus we could all tell that kiss was _really_ heartfelt…"

"Hey! But I…"

"Mr. Chiba, I've not finished handing out the awards and punishments yet, now have I? Should the other judges and I take away what we were going to give you?"

"You mean he won?" I cried out in disbelief.

"Not necessarily, no," Motoki laughed. "We unanimously decided that Mamoru would have to give up this silly argument and treat you to whatever you want in the arcade and…"

"Hurray! I won!"

"Ahem… Usagi will kiss Mamoru and uphold her promise. In effect, you both lost… or won… whichever way you want to look at it," he said smiling happily as all my so-called friends backed him up with their Cheshire cat smiles. Even Rei was looking decidedly smug.

I looked at Mamoru and he looked at me and we both just sort of shrugged and accepted it. I leaned up to kiss him lightly, but it ended up being just a passionate as before. Oh well, can you really blame me? He's gorgeous and put just as much into that kiss as I did… Anyway everyone was looking at us so we had to stop. After that I think we went to Motoki's arcade and had milkshakes.

Despite the teasing guesses of everyone, Mamoru refused to reveal what kind of promise he was going to hold me to. I guess he just wanted to tell me in private, but his refusal sparked the imagination of everyone – especially since he hadn't left my side since, well, he's been next to me all day today, come to think of it…

We talked about what kind of things he was going to make me do and laughed at all of the outrageous ideas that came up. After awhile though, we all had different places to be, so we split up. To my surprise Mamoru walked me home. Even more surprising was the fact that we didn't really argue. We talked about little things, insignificant things and we reached my house all too quickly.

Right before I was going to go in, he stopped me. I must have looked confused because he reminded me of my promise to do whatever he asked. I swallowed and asked the question, "What am I going to promise you to do?"

"I want you to promise me to show your full potential and to stop acting as if you were stupid; I want you to tell me the truth when I ask you serious questions."

"That's two promises though," I said teasingly.

"No, one promise to do two things. That's fair enough."

"Okay. I'll try my best," I promised.

"Good. Now I have just a few teeny little questions…"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You want to go out to dinner tomorrow night?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

He nodded his head adorably. "I think so."

I smiled and answered him truthfully, "Of course."

He smiled too, relieved that I had agreed before asking his next question. "And what would you do if I were Tuxedo Kamen?"

My eyes widened, but I'd promised to answer truthfully, "I'd tell you I was Sailor Moon…"

"Good," he answered. "No more masks…"

* * *

A/N: For those of you who grew up on the English dub like me… Oh and I couldn't remember Lizzie's real name so I just let it go… that's probably why she doesn't speak…

Usagi Serena

Mamoru Darien

Motoki Andrew

Makoto Lita

Minako Mina

Tuxedo Kamen Tuxedo Mask

Oh by the way, I don't own Sailor Moon or Spiderman – I just thought the parallels were interesting. This was one of my first fanfics - a really old one, I wrote it right after I saw the movie in theatres for the first time. So if there are any problems or mix-ups be sure to tell me!


End file.
